A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".. My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another. Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? " Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?" Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage" It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

What is a girl friend? Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What's the definition of lawyer? The larval form of a politician